flowers-without-reason:

The Uncensored Cratchit Christmas Dinner

Mrs Cratchit: Bob we need to have a serious talk

Mr Cratchit: Yes, later dear. It’s Christmas Eve! 

Mrs: No, now Bob. Let me ask you something…how old am I? 

Mr. Emm, what?

Mrs: Answer the question.

Mr: 35?

Mrs: 37, close enough. And do you know how many children we have?

Mr: (takes a quick head count) 6, we have 6 beautiful children. 2 of them look slightly ethnic, but I’m not going to question that. 

Mrs: 37 years old with 6 children…Well add one more to the mix. 

Mr: You’re…pregnant? Oh that’s wonderful!

Mrs: Yes well, you’re not the one giving birth.  This is a problem, Bob. You don’t exactly have a stable job, and poor Martha has had to resort to a, ahem, night job. 

Martha: I’m not complaining…

Mrs: We’re destitute, Bob. We can’t afford any more kids. We’re not rabbits, it’s not natural, 7 bloody kids…

Mr: But children are a gift! and what do you suppose we do about it anyway? 

Mrs: There are several ways to fix this situation.

Cameron: Mum! You’re not going to sell us are you?!

Mrs: Oh no, you wouldn’t go for much anyway. No, I have a better idea. Peter? You hold him down. Belinda? Fetch me the shears…

Sweet and sour (Pris avec instagram)

lulz-time:

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